From Valor to Vulnerability: A Veteran's Journey Through Mental Health

As the echo of military service fades into the clamor of civilian life, many veterans like Lino Camacho find themselves at a crossroads between past valor and present struggle. In a heartfelt dialogue, we welcome Lino, an army veteran turned author, whose trenchant story of overcoming mental health challenges resonates with the soul's cry for purpose and peace. His transition from the battlefield to the author's desk unveils the silent skirmishes that many of our nation's bravest continue to fight long after their uniforms are hung up.

Lino's literary quests, "Hope for the 22" and "Purpose Driven Pain," are more than mere titles on a shelf; they are the embodiment of his pilgrimage through the quagmires of post-military life, where the camaraderie of arms is sorely missed. The chapters of our discussion with Lino span the spectrum of human emotion as we explore the transformative role of humility, the unique challenges of cultural identity, and the solace found through faith and breathing. His voice, seasoned by the grit of experience, extends an olive branch to those grappling with their own inner conflicts, serving as a testament that one can rise from the depths of despair to a renewed conviction in life's journey.

The conversation culminates in a clarion call to all who face the specters of pride, isolation, and the stigma of seeking help. Lino's candid revelations about his own confrontations with darkness and the subsequent light of revelation offer a beacon to others engulfed in the throes of mental anguish. By sharing his narrative, we underscore the potency of vulnerability and the unspoken power of a supportive community. Join us in this episode to uncover the layers of resistance and resilience, and may you find, as Lino did, that every breath holds the promise of a new beginning.

Lino's Instagram- https://www.instagram.com/hopeforthe22/
Books linked above in the description. 

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

And so I would have those dreams. Man, that was just very vivid. I would wake up drenched to sweat and just yelling, screaming, kicking.

Speaker 3: 1:01

Welcome to the 50 day podcast and I'm one podcast my first responders dedicated to breaking the stigma of mental health. Today we have a special guest author and army veteran, lino Camacho. Lino is the author of two impactful books Hope for the 22. The true story of a soldier battling despair and suicide and Purpose driven pain, the privilege of living a painful life in a hurting world.

Speaker 3: 1:20

Lino shares his journey of highlighting his experience during and after his time in the military. His motivations for writing Hope for the 22 stand from a deeply personal place, as he witnessed firsthand the challenges faced by veterans, including anxiety, depression, ptsd, homelessness and suicidal thoughts. He shares his life on the struggles many veterans encounter and the toll it takes on their mental health. Lino also talks about the stigma surrounding mental health issues and the various veterans our first responders could face and see can help. We extend our heartfelt gratitude to Lino for sharing his insights and promoting mental health support. When you walked into the or when I met you at the bar, I saw you giving your book out or kind of showing your book, and so it caught my attention.

Speaker 3: 1:57

And then when I read the title of the book, it caught my attention even more, because I do have this podcast that's built on mental health For most parts, usually for first responders, but I'm a veteran, as myself as well, and so there's a lot of veterans who are first responders, so to kind of coincide with each other, the same audience in a way. So I was like you know what? I want to really get him on here, talk about that stuff, what you've been through and whatnot. So I'm guessing an army, correct? Yes, army. So can you like just introduce yourself and kind of just give a little background on what you did in the army?

Speaker 1: 2:34

So yeah, my name is Lino Camacho. I grew up in Farmsville, california, and just decided to join the army because I grew up with my grandfather as my father figure and so my dad wasn't really there for me and stuff, and so my grandfather he was in Vietnam, and so that's where I had that desire to want to be like my grandfather, because he was the one that raised us. You know, I say I was just my two brothers and myself. My mom was a single mom, and so he taught us manners, he taught us how to treat people, he taught us how to treat women. So always with respect and just a lot of love for us, you know.

Speaker 1: 3:14

And when he was actually in Vietnam, he actually got shot in the face. And when he got shot in the face he actually flatlined, he was out and he's seen this bright light and all he heard is with really loud voice, saying come home, son. And then again, come home, son. And after the third time, come home, son. That's when my grandfather responded with I'm not ready yet, I'll have you finish raising my children and then you can take me whenever you want. And after my grandfather said that, that's when he woke up and he's seen the combat medic getting him CPR and nobody knew that story other than that combat medic. And so once my grandfather passed away, once he died of Agent Orange, that's when that same combat medic went to his funeral and that was the first time the family ever met that guy. And so that guy, that combat medic, told my grandmother that story and that's when she told everybody else and that stuck to me since he passed away, you know, since forever, and I just I always share that story with people because I remind people, hey, this life is temporary, guys, there's a heaven and there's a hell, you know, and so and I want people to experience the same thing that my grandfather did. He gets to be with the father, you know, and but yeah, it's pretty amazing how that just it just lit up a fire inside of me, like I just I want to be infantry and I want to be just like my grandfather.

Speaker 1: 4:55

And what's interesting is I actually wanted to have the same scar my grandfather had, because he had got shot in the face and so he had a scar on his cheek and I think it's funny, I wanted to be so much like my grandfather that I ended up having. It's kind of gross, but I had ended up having three really big blackheads and so on my face and it was like in a triangle and I squeezed all of them at the same time, like really hard, and it left a scar and it looks just like my grandfather's scar, which I think is kind of hilarious how much I desired to want to be just like my grandfather and I ended up getting the scar like my grandfather and so but it was from acne scars and so I think it's a lot different than the 716 going through your face and so. But yeah, anyways, that's where everything started, with me wanting to have the desire to want to join the military, and so I know there's a little rabbit hole there, but just a little. The reason why I wanted to join the army and be just like my grandfather I was infantry, I joined the infantry and my grandfather's infantry as well, and so I joined the infantry because all I want to do is die for my country and I want to have a family young, get married young and die for my country if I had to, and I didn't mind it. So I was kind of crazy and in the head I feel like most of us are that joined the infantry and I just joined the service in general and especially like first responders too, man, that's takes a lot of cojones to do that job, you know, and that's why I have a lot of respect for firefighters veterans versus responders.

Speaker 1: 6:32

I'm always saying thank you for your service because that simple we call it a simple sentence can save their life. It reminds them, hey, I have a purpose in life, you know, and people are thankful for it. People are thankful for it and so, but yeah, I went to combat in Afghanistan and then multiple, multiple firefights and stuff, and I'm thankful for it, because now I get to help people that have been to combat, you know. And so if I've never been in combat, it's a little bit more difficult to reach those and speak, be able to speak to those that have been in combat. And so when you've been through more hell, the more hell that, the more pain you've been through, the more people you can speak to and more people are going to be able to listen to you, because they're going to be willing to listen to you, because you've been through, they'll think it's more pain than what they've gone through, you know.

Speaker 1: 7:27

And so I never used my pain or my struggles to, I guess, put myself above others and say, oh, my pain was worse than yours. And like I don't do that, I don't take pride in my pain and say, hey, I went through more than you. That's the worst thing you could do to people, you know, and so you're pretty much saying that their pain doesn't matter and so everybody has different amounts of pain they can handle, you know, and so it doesn't mean you're weaker, it doesn't mean you're stronger. It's just, instead of using it to bold, be boastful and say, hey, I went to more hell than you and had the macho mentality, just be humble. Be humble and instead of using it to put others down because they didn't go through what you went through, use it to help others, help more people, and say, hey, I've been through this, I've been through this so and so, and I know you're going through this, but just remember I was able to get out of this situation. You know, and so it's. You're putting hope into somebody's life just by sharing your traumatic experiences and how you're still able to keep your head on your shoulders. You know, and so, and you use that pain to help others and but yeah, that's that's. That's one thing for when to combat and stuff, and and then we got out.

Speaker 1: 8:54

I was homeless for a little bit. I'm not going to say too many details or else and tell my whole book and then and so, but yeah, I never thought I was going to write books and ended up writing two books. Actually, I got three, and so the second book is in Spanish, and so it took just as much time and effort to translate into Spanish, because I didn't grow up reading and writing it, I just grew up speaking it, but kind of like a lot of pauses. I have a lot of pauses in English too, so it's kind of funny. I have an accent both in English and Spanish. They know I'm I'm not Mexican, but they also know that I'm not just American, you know, and so they have an. It's kind of funny I have an accent in both, both languages about flu and both. That's a good thing, it's fun.

Speaker 1: 9:40

And then, but anyways, yeah, I got out of the service 2014 and just was really going through a really really hard time, just even during during deployment as well. But I think it was actually worse after I got out of the service, because you kind of feel isolated and so you don't. You don't have that constant group of people that you get to joke around, and it's fun because we're not politically correct in the military and we just, we have fun with each other, we make fun of each other all the time. And so they used to call me Mexican jumping bean, and so, and, yeah, that's it, that's it.

Speaker 1: 10:21

It was a tall black guy and my buddy, uh Burnett, and so I would call him fingers because he had long fingers, and so, and then, uh, I told him, I'm going to use you as a mind roller because he got big lips, and so I don't like that. And so we'd always mess around with each other and do things like that. And so, and then, uh, I put my my name tape on his head because he's got the, the nappy hair, and so I, it was like Velcro, and so it stuck to his head and everybody just started laughing because he was, he was roasting me, he's, he's making fun of me, and he was, he was winning. And so all I did was just take off my Velcro and put on his head and, uh, I won, I won that back, I won, I won that battle, you know. And so it's just just an example of how we mess around and just, uh, I mean, it was fun. It was fun. There's nothing racist about it.

Speaker 1: 11:11

We were always, um, having fun, you know, and that's something that you don't have when you get out of the service and you're by yourself and you're not prepared because you don't know what the hell you're going to be able to do and all you think you can do is either a first responder or a board patrol or, uh, anything that has a firearm. So security and so that's, those are all the things I thought I was only capable of doing because I went infantry, you know, and so, um, it was hard to find a job. It was just difficult to find a job, and that was. I was going insane man and somebody different. I mean, it's almost homeless as well.

Speaker 1: 11:49

I was homeless after I got a service for six months and there was a pain, pain in the butt, and so I just, uh, I'll go shower in the sinks, like in the public restrooms at the parks and stuff, and like I would. Just, I'm not, I wouldn't be naked in the in the restroom, somebody walk in, I was, I was in my underwear and stuff, or like my swimming trunks, and I would lather up and stuff and that throw water on myself, so it was all making a huge mess on the on the ground and stuff, and so it was very embarrassing to see people walk in, they see you and they walk out and so, um, but yeah, it was a rough time and so and that's why I'm always helping people apply for their disability and things like that Because, uh, I didn't have any income. You know, I had, I had the 40% when I got out of service and so it was, um, I was getting something in there and and it was helping me to, um, be able to get the food and gas in my van because I was living in the van. So I guess you could say I was a rich homeless guy and, um, uh, so, yeah, it was a bunch of crazy things.

Speaker 1: 12:58

I was going through PTSD, the uh chronic anxiety, depression, paranoia, suicide thoughts I mean depression. It was eating me alive and I ended up, uh, getting married. It was actually funny. I actually got married as a homeless guy and so it's pretty pretty interesting. My wife said, yeah, I just got the night jobs left and right, and she said, yeah, let's go get married. And we got married and actually things actually got worse after I got out of being homeless and so, um, just put my wife through some hell. I put my wife through a lot of hell and uh had the macho man mentality I'm a cheese mall and so I was just uh, drunk all the time.

Speaker 1: 13:46

I was always getting drunk and my wife would hug me and kiss me and I would just just kind of stay there and she wouldn't like, I wouldn't respond back, I would and she would say I love you, and I would say I can't say it, I can't say it back. And so, cause I had so much going on in my head and so much anger and uh hate, and uh, just, I was in a very dark place and I was drowning. I was drowning in the sea of depression, you know, and um, it was like a horror movie that you can't get out of, and that's pretty much the best way I can explain it. I don't know if you've ever seen Insidious. Don't watch it, it's pretty scary. That's pretty much how I felt. Like I felt like I was in that movie Insidious where you can't get out of that nightmare and have demonic nightmares and just bloody nightmares, body parts missing just everywhere.

Speaker 1: 14:44

I would always have dreams of cartels cutting my head off, and so I don't know if it was cartel or Islam or Al Qaeda or the Taliban, and so it was somebody I know. They were brown, and so that's all I remember. They were brown and near a desert, so that can be the cartel in Mexico or that could be the cartel in Afghanistan. And so I would have those dreams, man, that was just very vivid. I would wake up drenched in sweat and just yelling, screaming, kicking, I would hit my wife and stuff, but I started sleeping with pillows in between us so that way I wouldn't be kicking my wife and hitting her and stuff. I was always afraid of waking up and choking my wife and stuff. I'm glad that never happened. And so I know some folks have, but they're not alone. I guess that's pretty much what I want to say is that they're not alone.

Speaker 1: 15:47

A lot of people are going through this stuff, just a lot of things I never thought I was going to go through, and I honestly almost forgot all the things I went through until I started talking about it right now, because usually I just make it very brief for people, but on the podcast you kind of go in a little more detail and so, but yeah, because I usually I wrote everything in the book and so I tried not to give too much detail in there. And bless you, yes, sir, and anyways, I went fast forward. I ended up going to Texas, we ended up moving to Texas and stuff, that's right. And I came back to Texas. Yeah, I came back to.

Speaker 1: 16:39

Yeah, I kind of I honestly felt like I don't know if you're you know the story about Jonah going to Nineveh where he gets swallowed by the fish, and so he didn't want to go. He didn't want to go to Nineveh and so, and so the fish swallowed him. God sent that big fish to swallow him and until he finally said, okay, I'm going to go, I repent, you know, I'm going to do whatever you tell me God. And so he ended up going to Nineveh, and so, and those people ended up getting saved, those people ended up repenting of their sins, you know, and ended up seeking God, seeking after God and seeking after righteousness. And I feel, in a way, it's the same way for me. It's like I didn't want anything to do with California.

Speaker 1: 17:25

That's why I moved to Texas with my wife, and it's crazy how, as soon as we moved here, like door starting opening up to do podcasts, to do public speaking events, to do book signing events, things like that, and people are very, very excited when I talk to them about the books and stuff. And so I don't know if it's the mentality of just big cities is that they want somebody that's super well known already and super famous, and or else they don't. They're not interested in your books, and so that's what I noticed over there in Texas, because we're in Dallas, fort Worth, and so, and I would mention to people here, most of like most of the people were there they're like, oh okay, cool and so, but over here it's like they value it so much more than the folks in the big cities, and I don't know if it's because of the rough just I guess the environment that they grew up in is just a little bit more rough than the big cities because you don't have a lot. Sometimes a lot of folks grow up poor here in the valley, you know, and so I grew up poor and I was poor, but I was happy, you know, I was happy and I think it was because all that, that love from the family, all that love from the family.

Speaker 1: 18:48

At that time I didn't have a lot of friends, but friends as well, and it's the importance of not being by yourself. You know, because you can. You have a really high-paced life in a big city and you get stressed out just by the traffic alone and you're just, you always feel like you're in a rush. You always feel like you're in a rush and you, you, you don't even notice it. You don't notice it until you're like, wait, what the heck? Why am I walking fast? It's a like, or why am I driving fast? And so you start to get your heart rate rising, you know. And so that's why I noticed when I was in the big city over there in Texas, I was always in a rush and I didn't know why. And so once we moved here, it's like I felt so much relief, it felt so relaxed. Once I moved here, there's no traffic. The traffic alone will help you a lot, you know, when there's not a lot of traffic and stuff and so. But anyways, I felt like Jonah going to Nineveh.

Speaker 1: 19:51

And when I moved back to California, and I feel like it's because God wants me to provide these books for people that are drowning in their depression and that need God. You know that need to repent of their sins, you know that need to hear God's word and so that they can find peace and hope and purpose in their life. And so I mean I've been able to help so many different people, not tooting my own horn or anything like that. I'm not trying to exalt myself and say I'm super oh, look at me, I'm famous, or anything like that. It's just I know God's using the pain that I've been through to be able to reach more people, to help them, and so, but like I guess every time I speak to somebody and I always tell them like this and I don't want to say it's like my pitch, because I'm not a salesman or anything, but I am selling my books, I guess, in a way I kind of am a salesman, huh, and so but I always tell them I know it's kind of random, it's an icebreaker, like it really breaks the ice for people to open up or just share something that they've experienced or they know some way that's experienced some trauma, you know. And so I always say, hey, you know it's kind of random stuff, like anywhere I go grocery store, in a line or park or anything like that and so I say but I wrote these books and I don't have them on me all the time, so I show them on my phone on Amazon, and so I don't have, and so I let them know.

Speaker 1: 21:23

I wrote this book, so this is my first one Hope for the 22. And so that's the number of veterans that kill themselves every day, and so I was going to be one of the 22 veterans that commit suicide a day, and so I talk about all the PTSD, the anxiety, the depression, the suicide thoughts, the marital problems, the addictions, the combat, the homelessness, the just complete darkness that I was in, and so I talk about that and how God saved my marriage and saved me from killing myself. Pretty much, I talk about how, I guess you could say, jesus pulled my head out of my ass. That's the best way to put it. You know, that's pretty much what happened, because I was though I'm putting my own head there because of pride. I was holding onto pride so much, and it was killing me inside. It was killing me deep down inside and destroying my life, destroying my relationships, destroying my marriage, and it was taking me to a dark pit of hell and I was drowning myself. I was drowning myself because I wouldn't open up to anybody, I wouldn't talk, and I just became numb. I just became numb and I didn't care what happened to anybody to myself or anyone, and so, but anyways, sorry, kind of zoned off, I didn't know where I was going with that. But anyways, I wrote that book, the first book, hope for the 22. And because I want to save as many people as I can from suicide, you know, and if somebody is trying to think about suicide, at least they can hear this story and they can hear my story, and it can save them, it can bring them hope, it can bring them peace, and so the first person I was able to save from committing suicide, the reason I even had the desire to want to write a book was because I spoke to this 17-year-old Satanist that was about to kill himself.

Speaker 1: 23:22

That night I met him, and so it was interesting how it happened. We were my wife and I. We were laying down in bed and watching Netflix and stuff, and it was cold that night, and so we were in pajamas and stuff, and it was already nighttime and I had this deep desire or not desire, but it just this feeling that I had to go to a close. And so the close here in Viceria, and I didn't know why, but I listened to it. I listened to that feeling that I had to go and I told my wife, hey, let's go to a close. I said, okay, usually it should be like no, we're watching movies, it's cold outside, we're already comfortable, you know. And so because it was already night and they're about to close, and so we get there and the first thing I go do is I go straight to the restroom and my wife is looking at clothes and stuff and we didn't have money to spend. So that's why it was interesting that I had to go to close.

Speaker 1: 24:17

And I get in there and as soon as I open the door, there's somebody at the sink, like watching their face and crying and like shaking and stuff. And I go to the urinal and start taking care of business, you know and going, and I hear this guy crying. I'm like you, okay, man, no, man, no. And so I finish up and I'm washing my hands and I ask him what's going on. He's like no man, he's shaking, he's crying. So I was about to kill myself, man. I got the blade right there in the restroom stall. I got it right there on the floor. I'm about to slit my wrist open and kill myself in that stall.

Speaker 1: 24:52

And I asked him you know Jesus? And he's like yeah, how powerful, annoying, omnipresent, son of God, the Messiah. I know him because I'm Satanist, and he showed me his tattoos 666 on his knuckles as I say okay, well, you know, you know Jesus, but have you ever repented of your sins and accept that Christ is your savior? I asked him and he's like no man, no, you'll never forgive me. I got the number of the beast on my hand and so I told him well, you understand that Jesus says the only unforgivable sin is to blaspheme of the Holy Spirit. I said so if you wholeheartedly repent of your sins and accept Christ as your savior, he'll save you man. And so I just started sharing with him my testimony, my story of how Jesus saved my life and saved me from all the hell, that I didn't tell you everything, but all the things that I mentioned earlier, how Jesus pulled me out of that sea of depression and I was about to kill myself, you know. And I asked him do you want to make that decision tonight? And he said yeah.

Speaker 1: 25:59

And so I prayed for him that night in the restroom and next to the sink, and the night he was going to kill himself was the night that God used me to be the messenger of hope and peace for this 17 year old kid. And so, 17 year old, you're stubborn, sightless, you're anti God. And so for me to be able to, for someone like me to be able to reach someone, that's anti God and stubborn, I was like I need to save more people. I need to save more people. This is what I want to be doing for my life, with my life, you know. And so that's where that fire was put inside me, you know, ever since that day, that night, and had that passion to want to save people from suicide because of that encounter I had, you know, and so thankful for the hell I've been through, you know. And so that was the reason why I had that desire to want to write a book.

Speaker 1: 27:00

And the other book I wrote is called Purpose Driven Pain, and so we call it Purpose Driven Pain, because pain has a purpose. There's this one right here. And so Purpose Driven Pain, the privilege of living a painful life in a hurting world. And so we wrote this book. Because we lost our first baby, and so we talked about how traumatic that was and like I've been in combat and I've gassed him, but it doesn't compare to holding my dead baby in my hands, and so, unless that our baby was tiny or baby was nine weeks and as a miscarriage and so, but we saw our baby's arms, legs and eyes and everything, and so it was just it was on Mother's Day too, so it just kind of added on to the day of losing your baby, you know.

Speaker 1: 27:47

And so I just I was angry at God. I was angry and I was like God, why'd you allow us to go to this? I wrote this first book so I could bring people to your son, and I just felt like God was telling me where's your hope, where's your hope and you know where your baby is, and so and I just felt God was telling me you're going to write a book and you're going to help people that are drowning in their depression, and so that's why and that's where I got the idea for the book cover design, where it's this person's drowning in the sea of depression and that's why he's skin and bone. He's slowly dying until you reach up for help. You have to reach up for help, and that's when God gets ahold of you, and that's when your fingers are full. That's when his fingers got fully restored. Because as soon as Jesus gets ahold of you, that's when you're fully restored to life again and you get a purpose in life and peace.

Speaker 1: 28:40

And so, even in the midst of traumatic experiences like losing your baby, you know, and so, even though it's the most traumatic thing for me and my wife as well losing our baby, it was also there's a reason behind it. There's a purpose, you know, and that purpose that we've been able to use it for. I didn't know I was gonna write a book. I didn't know I was gonna write a book, but I felt God was telling me you're gonna write a book and, you know, help people to find that purpose and their traumatic experiences. You know, no matter how difficult it is or how traumatic it was for anybody, there's a purpose behind it and it's not for just so you can suffer. That's it. That's it.

Speaker 1: 29:25

It's not just so you can drown in your depression and in your emotions. You know. It's so you can use it to help others that have been through the same situation, and that's why we say it's a privilege to live a painful life in a hurting world, because the privilege is the empathy. When you can empathize with somebody, you can feel what they're feeling and they're more prone to listen to you and your story of hope and peace. And it's just easier to talk to people, easier for them to listen to you Because you've experienced pain. One of the worst things you can go through in life is losing a baby and so when they see that you have peace and you still have hope, they're drawn to that light. And that's why Jesus says we're supposed to be that light in this dark world, because this world is dark.

Speaker 1: 30:14

You know and again I forgot to mention this that I'm not forcing my beliefs on anybody. I'm just letting people know that this is where I found my purpose and my peace and it was in Jesus and not in a religious way. It's in a relationship with God, way you know, and I just I always remind people I tried all these other things. None of it, none of it helped. All these addictions, all these sleeping around, drunkenness, all these other things, none of it helped, none of it even scratched the surface. You know, it was that deep, dark void inside my life that can only be filled by God and Jesus was the one that filled it. You know, and people can see it. And it's like I said, I'm not trying to be all super holy or trying to brag about how perfect my life is, but I'm happy I have peace in my life.

Speaker 1: 31:14

Even though I've been through all these traumatic experiences in my life, I'm thankful for them. I'm thankful for them because now I get to help a larger spectrum of people, and people listen. People listen because I've been through the pain and that's why I call it that purpose driven pain is that pain drives us to go out there and help those that are drowning in their depression. And so we all have a purpose. We all have a purpose in this life and once God gets ahold of you, he'll show you that purpose. You know He'll show you that purpose and bring you that peace in life. And but yeah, that's pretty much like the background on the books and stuff and why we wrote them. And that's all I want to do now is just save people from suicide, save them from the depression and, ultimately, save them from going to hell.

Speaker 1: 32:06

And so, and that's why I preach the gospel to people, I talk about Jesus and remind that this life is temporary and that there's a heaven and there's a hell, and if we never repent of our sins and accept Christ as our savior, we already chose where that is, according to scripture, and so, and that's not heaven, and so there's only one way to the Father and that's through Jesus Christ. And I truly believe that. I truly believe that, and because I felt Jesus, you know, I felt Jesus in my life and saved me. He saved me, you know, and that's the peace I want to share with the whole world, because it's in this really dark world you can be the brightest light. You know, no matter how dim you think your light is, it shines really bright in a really dark world. And so, no matter how insignificant you may think you are, you're not. Nobody is nobody's insignificant, and that's why God, the Father, son Jesus, to die on the cross for us, when we don't deserve that. So we don't deserve to be in heaven, all of us deserve to be rotting in hell because we're all sinners. We're all sinners, you know, and so, and that's why I'm so happy to be a part of his, his military, you know, I was a part of the US Army and that military, but now I'm a part of a eternal military, you know eternal army, and I want people to be there with me.

Speaker 1: 33:33

You know the kind chopping the heads off of demons, and so that's pretty much what I do now. And people struggle with their demons. They always say I'm struggling with my own demons. So, yeah, you don't have to do it by yourself. And so, and that's what we were called to do, that's why I say, and trust it, tempt you with different things to get you distracted off of God's purpose in your life, and you just Tom will shove it up his brown eye and you're gonna crush the devil's head with whatever the devil try to use to destroy your life with addictions or anything the loss of a loved one, whatever he try to use to destroy your life and your purpose in life, god's gonna turn around and use it to crush a devil's head, you know.

Speaker 1: 34:16

And so every time you share your story, every time you share your testimony of hope and peace and your faith, that's when you're chopping the heads off of demons and people's lives. You know, and I can see it when I speak to them, and the only reason I have that light is because the Holy Spirit's inside of me, you know, and because it feels for me, I'm not gonna produce any light, and so, but God, when you have God in your life, you'll produce all the light that people need in order to find that hope you know in their life. And so, but yeah, man, that's what I wanted to say and I just want to share with anybody listening today. And you have a purpose in life and don't be alone. It's not good to be alone.

Speaker 1: 35:07

God says in the beginning in Genesis, chapter one is it's not good for man to be alone, and so that's why he created an helper, that's why he created Eve, so his wife, and so, but also goes for us as people. Just, it's not good to be alone, and because everybody goes through some pain, and that's how we can empathize with the world, because the world is hurting and we're hurting too. So when you talk about your painful experiences, your trauma, you allow it to ventilate. And so something I learned I know firefighters won't know this term, so it's something I learned when I went to the fire academy is what a blevy is. So a blevy stands for boiling liquid, expanding vapor, explosion, and it's pretty much a container building up pressure inside. And so just imagine a propane tank building up all this pressure inside, and if that pressure continues to build up and you don't ventilate, you don't open up that valve and release that pressure inside, it's gonna blow up. And so and I use that as an analogy is that we're that container building up all that pressure inside because we're holding it, we're repressing our emotions, we're repressing all that because we wanna be the macho.

Speaker 1: 36:25

And when I have that pride of, I had to look like I have my stuff together. You know, had to be tough, had to be tough, get over it, get over it, move on to the next one. Move on, that's what they train you to do, because that's how the job is. But afterward it's not good to do that, it's very destructive. And so you have to find that trustworthy person you can speak to, that shoulder to cry on, that ear to speak to. And so that's pretty much what I do. I'm just that ear, I'm just that. I'm that ear that is open to talk, open to listen, you know, and have my shoulder for somebody to cry on, you know, and you gotta ventilate, man, you gotta ventilate, the only way to avoid oblivious to the ventilation. And so, or else you're gonna explode, it's gonna destroy your marriage, it's gonna destroy relationships. You're gonna harm somebody, you're gonna harm yourself. You can kill somebody, you can kill yourself. You're gonna do both. And so that's why people explode and they start doing stupid things out there, because they just they had enough. They had enough. They feel like they're by themselves.

Speaker 1: 37:34

But when you open up people open up to you, when you open up about your traumatic experience and stuff, it allows them to have that courage to want to open up as well. You're just like oh, this guy talks about it all the time. I guess I'll share something too. You know, it gives them the opportunity to be able to open up themselves and that's the only way to avoid oblivion. Life is through ventilation, and so you got to open up that valve, you got to talk about it, you got to release that pressure from within, and it's by talking to people, having that accountability.

Speaker 1: 38:14

Have people that are there for you and don't be afraid. Don't be afraid to show your emotions and start crying and say I need help. They're not going to think you're weak. It takes more balls to say I need help. It takes a more macho man to say I need help and cry in front of people and not care about it. Anybody thinks about them. It takes more balls to cry in front of people and to hold it inside and just be like everyone else, and so it doesn't make you more of a macho if you hold in your emotions. It's just going to destroy you more, and so it's not worth it. It's not worth to keep all those emotions inside, and so avoid the blevy in life, guys. Avoid the blevy.

Speaker 1: 38:59

And so you got to ventilate, you got to talk, you got to don't be by yourself, don't isolate yourself, and if you can, only if you already put into your mind that the only person I want to talk to is somebody that's been in the same situation as I have. Like I'll give you an example Combat veterans sometimes have that they only want to speak to other combat veterans, and so I understand that, because they know what they're feeling and they know what they've been through. But, however, there's a lot of combat veterans that don't want to open up, they don't want to talk, and so who the hell are you going to talk to? You know who's going to listen to you. If there's a person that's trustworthy and he's willing or she's willing to listen to you, speak to that person. You don't know if this woman was raped when she was a baby or she was a child by her own father, you don't know what other crap that she's been through or what he's been through.

Speaker 1: 39:57

And you don't have to go to combat to go to trauma and so and that's what I remind people I said pull your head out of where the sun don't shine, pull your head out of your ass because, uh, and drop the pride, because that pride's going to destroy you. Because if you have pride in oh I only want to talk to combat veterans, or only want to talk to officers, and or I wouldn't only want to talk to firefighters, don't get, don't get so uh, wound up in that, in that mindset, because sometimes those are the folks that don't want to talk, that don't want to listen. You know, just listen to, just speak to somebody that's willing to be that ear for you and that shoulder to cry on, especially if that person is trustworthy and, um, like I said, they've been through some trauma too. And so don't, don't get your on on your don't be high and mighty and think that just because you're a war hero, you're a hero versus spawner, that these people don't deserve for you to speak to them. You got to humble yourself. Humble yourself and you're going to see how much peace you're going to find Because people are going to want to speak to you and listen to you. And instead of being that, um, uh, we call it the macho just be the humble guy. Be the humble person that people need to hear, need to see, because you're going to be approachable that way and um, yeah, that's, that's pretty much what I know.

Speaker 1: 41:33

I kind of kept going on and on and on, but, uh, I always remind people that they have a purpose in this life and it's it's to help others, to love people, and uh and uh, something interesting. Something interesting I want to mention is every time you breathe, you're saying God's name, and so you know how everything that is therapy, yoga, um, all the breathing techniques for mental health, it's everything is breathing relaxed. It helps you to relax. So you're breathing and so they tell you to breathe slow. Just pay attention, listen to your breathing.

Speaker 1: 42:14

When you're shooting, when you're trying to shoot a suspect, you're trying to shoot somebody that's shooting at you. You got to breathe. You got to breathe. Or, just, if you're too hyperventilated, when you're a firefighter, you got to control your breathing or else that the oxygen takes. You're going to swallow up all that oxygen. It's going to be gone and you're not going to be able to save anybody inside that burning building.

Speaker 1: 42:38

And so you have to breathe, you have to pay attention to your breathing, and so every time we breathe, you know how in the old testament, god gives his name as Yahweh. They did a study, they did recorded the breathing, and so every time you breathe in, it sounds like you're saying Yah. When you breathe out, you're saying way, and so you're saying Yahweh every time you're breathing, and so, without moving your lips, without moving your tongue, you're saying Yahweh. You're saying God's name, you're saying the Creator's name, you're saying the Father's name, and that's why you feel peace, that's why you feel relaxed, is because you're saying Abba, father. You're saying God's name, without even consciously doing it.

Speaker 1: 43:21

You're saying His name while you're breathing, and that's why you relieve stress when you breathe, you do all this yoga and all this other stuff is because you're saying Daddy. You know, when you got little kids and they're running up to you, I got two baby girls and they say Daddy. It just melts my heart every time I hear them say Daddy or Dad or Papa, and so every time we're breathing, we're saying Dad's name, and so we're saying Dad and we're saying the Father's name, and so that's why we feel peace is because we're saying our Creator's name, our Father's name, and so it's just something to think about. Whenever you're stressed out any firefighters, any police, any veterans, anybody listening to this you ever stressed out start breathing, listen to your breathing and just be conscious about hey, I'm actually saying the Father's name and that's why I feel peace, I feel relaxed and God comforts us. Man, god comforts us and the Father's always there to comfort us and we just have to seek Him and he's just waiting for us. And he's not waiting for us with the belt, spank us and stuff. He'll spank us when we need to be spanked, but he's weighing with His arms wide open to give us a hug.

Speaker 1: 44:40

You know, and if anybody listening doesn't have that ear or that trustworthy person that they can speak to, I'll send my contact info to Gilbert and so on. I'm always open to talking. I'll give you my actual contact, my cell number. I spoke to random people. They don't have to say who they are and so they can be anonymous if they want, and I don't share people's names, what they told me. I share experiences of people, what they've experienced. I don't say what their name is or anything like that, because I'm constantly talking to random people everywhere I go, and so you guys are more than welcome to give me a call.

Speaker 1: 45:21

You guys are struggling especially with suicide thoughts. Just remember if you commit suicide your loved ones, you're going to encourage them to do the same thing. So your spouse, your brothers, your sisters, your cousins, your aunts, your uncles, your dad, your mom, your children Just really think about the consequences of you doing that, taking your own life. It's not just you that's going to suffer, all your family members, the people they truly care about. You don't want them to be dying inside because of your selfish act of killing yourself.

Speaker 1: 45:57

And so that's why I say pull your head out of your ass and get out of that dark place, because it's a shitty place. It's dark and it stinks and everything around you is dark and nasty. But when you pull your head out of there you can see the light. And that's why I say Jesus, pull my head out of my ass, because he helped me to see the light and I can breathe again, because my head's not up there, and so it smells good. It smells good out here. It's a good, fresh breath of air. So we got the breath of life in our lungs and that's God you know.

Speaker 1: 46:27

And so you guys aren't alone. I love you guys. I love every single one of you listening. You're not alone, and if you guys want the books, I'll also send a link. You guys have got my contact info. You guys want it from me personally. I can dedicate the books and I always put my number in there in case you need to talk to me. I need to talk to somebody. I'm always open to talking and listening, and they're also available on Amazon, and I will be writing more books Don't know when and so I just encourage you guys. You guys all have a story to tell. Everybody has a book they can write through their trauma. You're going to help people.

Speaker 3: 47:10

You talked about how God helped you pull your head out of your ass. Can you explain exactly what, when that was and the time that it happened?

Speaker 1: 47:21

Yeah, that was so I talked about. I grew up Catholic and I feel, like most Catholics, I didn't have that relationship with God. I just did all the tradition and the ceremonies and stuff. I didn't really understand the message of God, you know, or who God is, you know, and so I just kind of believed, because my grandfather believed, and even in combat, when I went to Afghanistan, I had a prayer every single morning, every single day, throughout the entire day. I was always praying God, if I die today and I go to heaven, take me, but if I die and I go to hell, don't let me die. And so that was my prayer every single day, throughout the day, because you don't know if you're going to step on a landmine or you're going to get bombed, you don't know if you can get shot in the head or you can get killed on the walk, on the patrol, and so you're constantly praying throughout the day. And that's why I felt peace, even though I was in combat, even though I was in Afghanistan, in combat zone. I felt peace because I was constantly praying and just in my mind, you know, and I was able to stay calm in combat situations. And it was because I feel like it was because I was always praying, you know, and but I didn't get, I didn't accept Christ into my life and actually understand the importance of having that relationship with God, until after I got out of the service and was home after getting out of homeless and then was a drunkard and so I cheated on my wife and destroyed my wife completely, and it was.

Speaker 1: 49:14

It took that for me to realize that my head was so far up in there that in that crinkle start I couldn't. I couldn't see how bad and sick and twisted I was, you know, and once I saw how broken my wife was, that's when I was like I want to take my own life. I was gonna take my own life because of what I did to my wife and all the I mean just everything. I just felt like I was useless, you know, useless filthy, and I was porn addict, gambling addict, alcohol addict and just so many different addictions, and just, I couldn't see the light. You know, I couldn't see the light. Everything was a crappy world and everything was dark and shitty and and so that's why I, that's why I use that metaphor, and that's why I use that metaphor, and because I couldn't breathe. Right, I couldn't breathe, I couldn't see the light, you know.

Speaker 1: 50:15

And it got to the point where my wife was gonna leave me. She said I told my wife, go back to Mexico, I don't want to see you. And so she took off for a week, not to Mexico, but she took off for a week and we didn't see each other for that whole week and I was playing my suicide that week and I was gonna put a kitchen knife through my chest. And she got back home and I had made like a, like a pact with myself or like an agreement. I say if my wife takes off, I'm gonna kill myself. If my wife goes back to Mexico, I'm gonna kill myself, you know. And so she gets back. I even had plan B, like what if my wife says she's gonna stay? I didn't even think about that part, I didn't. I wasn't even seeing that there's another way out, you know.

Speaker 1: 51:02

And my wife came back and she said you know what? I think we should start going to church. And I said, okay, yeah. And she said, not a Catholic one, nothing against Catholic church or anything like that, it's just for us.

Speaker 1: 51:14

We both grew up Catholic and it wasn't. We didn't, we weren't enjoying it, we didn't enjoy it and it wasn't our style of worshipping and stuff. And you're just constantly think about, okay, do I got take a knee, do I got sit down, do I gotta stand up now and so. And so you're constantly think about that and you're you're not listening, you're not paying attention to what what the priest is saying, and so because you're constantly, okay, that's because you don't want to look dumb, and so you don't look dumb and like do the wrong thing, because sometimes that happens, you take a knee while everybody's standing, and so, and then, or everybody stands up, and then you're taking a knee, and so you, you feel like you look dumb, and so you're constantly thinking about those things when you should be thinking like listening to what the priest is saying, you know. And so we're like let's go somewhere else.

Speaker 1: 51:59

So you went to Christian church and we went to the first one. It was good and everything, but we were the only young Hispanic couple and everybody else let's say, oh, white folks, they're really nice, they're really nice folks, and but we're just like the only young Hispanics, and so we're like we're not gonna have any friends here for long and so sorry, that's kind of rude, but yeah, cuz they're all old. They're all old, and so we're like we're not gonna have a lot of friends for too long, you know. And we went to the second church and second church they're a little too extreme for me and for my wife too. They're just a little. I think they're a Pentecostal nothing against Pentecostal, but they're a little they're. They're on fire, they're on fire for the word, you know, and but they, they kind of scare you a little bit, you know. And so for us it was too much. It was too much from going to Catholic to Pentecostal. It was too much for us and so we decided to go to the third.

Speaker 1: 52:53

One was Christian, it was non-denominational church, so we went to. We didn't know anything about non-denominational Pentecostal, so we thought we thought it was Christian church and Christian church, the same everywhere. We didn't know about Baptiste, lutheran and all these other things, and so but yeah, we went there and as soon as I went in to the church and the worship was playing the music and I was listening to the words, to the lyrics, you know, I was actually paying attention and I just started, I broke down. I just broke down, I started crying. I didn't care about what anybody was. I didn't think about anybody watching me, I was just. I was just focused on God and just in him and I just paying attention to the words and it just cut me in my soul, just cut my soul, you know, and I just started bawling, I started crying and I was shaking and crying and all these years before this I wouldn't share my emotions and stuff, so I would cry by myself because I didn't want anybody to think I was crying, because I wanted that, to think that I was a macho man. You know, because I was infantry, I was Latino and macho, and my last name is Camacho, and so California, macho, and so that's why I had that mindset that had to be macho all the time. I had the wrong, I guess, perspective on what a macho was, and so it's just a pride, and so I just, I didn't care that that day I got in there, I just started crying, I didn't care about anything, I just I needed God.

Speaker 1: 54:35

I was in the darkest place in my life and I just started bawling and after a few months after that, we went to church. That's when I, my wife and I both decided to accept Christ and get baptized, and it was like this light just turned on and all the really the bad arguments, the bad fights that we would have all the drunkenness stopped, like it was like an immediate, just an immediate, just complete stop on all the addictions I had I still had. I still had struggles with the, with the porn addiction and stuff, and then, but like all the other stuff, like the gambling was stopped, the constant arguments for stupid things, slamming doors and things like that stopped the drunkenness stop and like I could drink, but I wasn't just drinking to get plastered and wasted and like most folks do, you know, and how I used to do it, and it was just a huge change in my life and I felt peace inside. I felt peace, even though it's one, it's just after that one decision, I felt peace and so, and so much love and so much compass. It's like you feel, like this spirit hugging you, you know, just giving you a huge hug. I feel it's God, the Father, who giving you that hug, without you noticing it and without not noticing but seeing it, without you seeing him giving you a hug. That's why I feel that's the way I can explain it when, after I got baptized, it's like I felt like Jesus wrapped his arms around me and give me a huge hug, you know, and that's when my life changed.

Speaker 1: 56:23

My life changed completely after that and I wasn't dark. I was having demonic nightmares and my head getting chopped off and me being torn into pieces and body parts all over the place and bloody nightmares, and it changed to a little bit more spiritual meanings of the dreams and stuff. Like I've had dreams of serpents trying to kill me, huge serpents trying to kill me, and I just chopped the heads off with these serpents, and so I feel like it was God who showed me the dreams of what I was going to be doing in the future is to be chopping off the heads of those demons, of those snakes just saying there's the snake on the serpent, and so I was chopping off the heads of all those demons that were in those dreams, you know, and so it's pretty cool, they're pretty cool dreams and but yeah, that's that's when my life changed completely. Man is, after that, just that one decision, and drastically that's great to hear.

Speaker 3: 57:28

So you talked about obviously being Hispanic and then I know, with myself being Mexican, like in our culture we have like that machismo. You brought it up to earlier than what she's moment out. Yeah, so can you kind of discuss like the stigma surrounding, like mental health and the military, and then impact to seek your help, but then how you got over it, especially right in the book. And obviously you have friends, family who are spanish and they're kind of, you know, with that same mentality, like how did you do it for yourself with to kind of get past that point yeah, so my cheeseball.

Speaker 1: 58:01

I'm trying to remember when, like, I grew up believing in all of my cheeseball and I mean my dad and my uncles would tell me to say mama, seat that to the women walking past. Now we're only four years old or three, and so you can imagine a bunch of little boys, like three boys, saying mama, seat that to women, grown women, walking by, you know, or when you're driving by and you're telling that, or mama, seat that and so, and a bunch of whettos to like we're all, we're all light-skinned Mexicans, and so they thought we were white boys and Mexicali. And so I just I was pretty interesting that how I mean we had it since we were little kids. You know, we had all that since we were little kids and that stigma about not I mean not to share your traumatic experiences, not not really share it, but not to share that you're struggling, not to not to share that you're struggling and stuff with PTSD, or because that's very taboo subject, and so that's very taboo and any, any job is, especially when it comes to first responders, because they might call you unfit for duty, and so you're actually a lot more fit for duty when you talk about these things you know and so you're. You're very unfit for duty if you don't talk about it and you're holding it inside and you're destroying your marriage or destroying your family because of you holding that machismo in inside of you and that pride on. Ultimately it's pride, that machismo is pride, is that orgullo, that pride of holding in a I gotta I gotta look tough, you know, I gotta I gotta look my part to it. Look tough and and show people that nothing, nothing can bother me. So we're human, of course we're. It's gonna bother us if we see a dead baby on a car wreck, or you see a dead baby with, or somebody that just drowned and their loved one is right there with their, with their stomach full of water and stuff, and yet to be the first officer, the first, first responder on scene, you know, first firefighter on scene, or and the doctors and the nurses to and and so our combat as well. That, veterans, if you hold in those things, eventually it's going to catch up and you're going to see it.

Speaker 1: 1:00:33

When you repress all these emotions, it's going to eventually show up. You're going to lash out at people. You're going to raise your voice when you don't have to be raising your voice, you don't even think about it, you're not even conscious about it. My wife reminds me hey, why are you raising your voice? Yeah, you were, I know I wasn't. Then I get mad. It happens, it happens.

Speaker 1: 1:01:03

I think it's because you repress those emotions and you hold in that pain inside. It's not healthy. It ain't healthy. It's definitely not going to help you to be fit for duty. I really love the name of your podcast, by the way, because I'm fit for duty. Sorry, my daughter went in. That's true. If you don't show your emotions, if you're not open to express the pain that you're going through and the trauma and say I'm struggling, just because you say you're struggling, it doesn't mean that you're not fit for duty. It doesn't mean that you're not capable of doing your job. It just means you're human.

Speaker 1: 1:01:53

And then you need to talk to people you need to talk to, you need to ventilate, you need to open up to somebody that is trustworthy. Sometimes no offense to the psychiatrists or psychologists and stuff but sometimes they should want to pump you full of medication. Sometimes all you need is an ear to talk to. Sometimes that medication is I don't know, I'm not a doctor or stuff. I just say be careful with the medication. That's all I'm going to say. I'd rather talk about it. For me, that medication is Jesus.

Speaker 1: 1:02:30

Every day you need to talk to people too. You need to talk to people and share that pain and say I'm struggling and this is a bad scene. This is a bad scene. I need to talk to somebody. Don't be afraid to. Don't be afraid to.

Speaker 1: 1:02:47

I know when you're in that group of people you're afraid that this person is going to say this rumor about you. If they do that, who cares? They're a bunch of little childish, little kids. There's little drama like high school girl, cheerleader girl, crap. I saw a lot of that when I was an officer. We can be, and some firefighters too. We can be some jerks. We have that machismo and that's what I've seen that Stay humble.

Speaker 1: 1:03:23

You start exalting yourself and think yourself higher than others. It's not going to be good for you because nobody's going to want to approach you. Nobody's going to want to. You're not going to be approachable. Nobody's going to want to talk to you. You're going to be isolated because you're an a-hole and nobody wants to talk to you. Don't be afraid to be humble and say, yeah, I'm struggling, that I enjoy speaking to the guys that look all macho and they look like nothing affects them. I love talking to them because I can see how, when I'm talking to them, it just changes them right off the bat. After they start listening to me a little bit more, I really break the ice and they start opening up about things they've experienced. I love to see that change in them. I love to see the macho drop. You see their body language just drops and they're relaxed.

Speaker 1: 1:04:17

They're just looking for someone to listen to. Yeah, exactly when you talk and you need to, I feel like that machismo. You got to drop that machismo because it's going to destroy you completely. It could destroy your career because you're holding it in for so long. Even if it's a month that you're holding it in that pain, I think that's too long. You got to talk about it as soon as you feel it building up. It's like man, I feel this in my stomach and talk about it to somebody that's trustworthy. I want to say I don't know if I answered your questions. No, that's great.

Speaker 3: 1:05:02

Okay, one question before we get going. What's one lesson you would give any current service member, anyone interested in serving our great country?

Speaker 1: 1:05:12

Anybody interested in serving Any current?

Speaker 3: 1:05:16

ones right now. I know we're not in war right now, but obviously it might be coming close.

Speaker 1: 1:05:21

The current ones, the ones that are in right now. I just encourage them not to be full of anxiety. I know I can say that easy because I'm already out and stuff, but there's going to be pain everywhere you go. There's going to be trauma. But just remember that no matter how traumatic you go through something, it's going to be used as a blessing of hope for someone else because of the hope that you have and the peace that you found, no matter how traumatic. I guess the example is that when you go to combat, then you get to help others that have been in the same situation. They're going to listen to you. They're going to want to listen to you. If you experience more pain, more people can help.

Speaker 1: 1:06:15

What I want to leave people with is that don't ever feel like you're alone. Don't ever feel like you're the only one struggling through what you're struggling with. There's so many people that have struggled through a lot of different things and they just don't open up. That's why everyone feels like they're alone and that they're the only ones struggling with that. Seek the help that you need. If you don't have that, like I said, if you don't have that person to talk to, I'm going to be giving my number to Gilbert. He's got my permission to share with anybody that wants it. I might get a lot of calls, but I don't mind, I'll just say, hey, I'll speak to you. If I can't speak to you at that time, I can share it with somebody that'd be willing to talk to you and stuff.

Speaker 1: 1:07:08

I just want to remind you. You're loved. You are loved and you're very significant. You're very special in this life and you have a purpose and a calling in this life. There's a huge calling in your life, every single one of you. It's to help others. It's to love others, to help them.

Speaker 1: 1:07:35

Don't forget that people are hurting. Inside. Officers, I know you guys have to deal with the worst people. Just remember, as a child, these folks had some horrible parents. They had to deal with some knuckleheads. A lot of people do the things that they do because that's their medication. That's their way of medicating the pain. I just want to remind people don't be overwhelmed by your emotions, by the reaction that they do or whatever they do.

Speaker 1: 1:08:08

If they're pulling a gun, you've got to shoot them. They're going to try to kill you. You've got to kill them first. Set the appointment up with Jesus.

Speaker 1: 1:08:21

I'm not going to say don't think about it. Think about it first. If they're about to kill you, you're going to have to take their life. You can be a little, you don't. What do you call it? Escalate? Do not escalate the situation with the machismo. Don't escalate. You got to de-escalate. The best way to de-escalate is just talking to them, just listening to them. What's going on? What's going on? Talk to me. People are a little bit more easy to listen to or talk to somebody that doesn't have handcuffs. They're a little bit easier to talk to than firefighters. Be that person that's going to help. Don't be that person that's going to exalt themselves above others and think they're so tough and stuff. Be approachable, be approachable, be humble. You're loved. You have a purpose in this life. Don't make a permanent decision. Don't make a permanent decision on temporary situations or circumstances. Don't ever take your own life. Don't take anyone else's life. That's all I got to say, gilbert. I don't know if I said no, that's good.

Speaker 1: 1:09:38

I got to say Thank you for your service.

Speaker 3: 1:09:41

I appreciate your mission that you're doing now with all of this. I'll put your links to your books. Everyone can find your books on Amazon right the Hope for the 22, the true story of a soldier battling despair and suicide. Then your other book, purpose Driven Pain, the Privilege of Living a Painting Life in a Hurting World. I'll put those links up there for in the details of the podcast.

Speaker 1: 1:10:01

Do you have any?

Speaker 3: 1:10:01

social media that people could follow you on.

Speaker 1: 1:10:04

Yeah, I got my Instagram. It's actually under Hope for the 22. It's Excuse me. You just look up Hope for the 22 and then I'll show up on Instagram. Then Facebook is just Lino Comacho, so L-I-N-O and then C-A-M-A-C-H-O. I think I have a picture with my wife, my two girls. You guys can send me a message to there if you guys want a personal message. You guys want to get the book from us personally, I can write something, a dedication stuff. I can do that as well.

Speaker 3: 1:10:36

I'm good, I appreciate it. I'll put those in there as well. Yeah, man, thanks for coming. I can say that we just met at the bar for two minutes and thanks for taking it on and wanting to come on here.

Speaker 1: 1:10:46

Thank you, Gilbert. No, I appreciate you allowing me the opportunity to be on here and speak. Hopefully I spoke some Hope into people.

Speaker 3: 1:10:55

Peace. No, you did, it was good. It was good and remember. A seeking help is not a sign of weakness, but rather a sign of strength. The fact is, it's not about being depressed or crazy. It's just about healing. Everyone has different mental injuries, some bigger and smaller, and everyone heals in their own way, but everyone can benefit from healing. This is where the stigma broke for me, and I hope you break it for yourself. Go and talk with someone today who cares what anyone thinks. Mention me about when you're gonna take my first broke. I would love to hear. Stay safe and break your blue wall.